Learning to Shift Your Emotions

In his book, Shift, Ethan Kross addresses what he considers “one of the greatest challenges we face as a species: how to manage our emotional lives.” While this is a bold claim, I agree that improving our ability to control our emotions could lead to greater happiness.

Emotions offer valuable insights that guide our responses to different situations. Experiencing a range of emotions, both positive and negative, is essential for a full life. While we can’t control our initial emotional reaction to an event, we can learn to influence its trajectory.

Kross explains that we can use both internal and external tools to regulate our emotions.

Three internal tools include:

• Sensory Shifters – While many of us know that listening to music can alter our mood, we often don’t use it intentionally to shift our emotions. Sensory experiences such as sounds, sights, smells, or touch are among the quickest and easiest strategies for emotion regulation. Keep a playlist or a favorite candle handy for when you need a mood change.
• Attention Shifters – The ability to flexibly deploy your attention is a strong indicator of resilience. Temporarily distracting yourself from a stressful or traumatic event can provide relief until time helps the emotions fade. However, complete avoidance can exacerbate the issue, so spending some time processing your emotions can foster grow and help you move beyond the experience.
• Perspective Shifters – Gaining distance allows us to address a problem without becoming overwhelmed. One effective method for shifting your perspective is distanced self-talk, where using “you” or referring to yourself in the third person can quickly reduce negative emotions. Another technique is to reflect on past challenges you’ve overcome or envision how things will be different in the future, reminding yourself of the impermanence of all situations.

Three external tools are:

• Space Shifters – Our surroundings influence our emotions. You can alter your emotional state by modifying or switching your environment. Curate your space by removing things that trigger unwanted emotions, like cookies in your kitchen that may lead to regret, or adding positive elements, like a photo of a loved one, to enhance your emotional experience. Identify special places that being your joy, like a favorite vacation spot, coffee shop, or reading nook. Green spaces, in particular, have been found to boost everyone’s mood.
• Relationship Shifters – People can help us shift our emotions in two ways: 1) by listening, empathizing, and validating our feelings and 2) by helping us to see things from a different perspective. While venting allows us to express our emotions, it can make things worse. We also need people who can provide insight and help us move forward.  
• Culture Shifters – Culture shapes our environments, influencing the norms and behaviors considered acceptable. Engaging in rituals can positively shift our moods by giving us a sense of control. Find rituals that help you, such as going for a walk, reading, journaling, or meditating.

Learning to amplify the feelings you want and minimize those that cause you to suffer can improve your emotional well-being. Different tools work for different people. Practice engaging your senses, redirecting your attention, using distanced self-talk, and altering your environment to identify the strategies that work best for you.